Hard to be inspired when you're so damn tired....or "I need a 26 hour day"

I compose blog posts in my head constantly.  Don't we all?  Or, that's what I imagine.  Thing is that life has gotten busy, as has work.  I'm not exactly sure when work getting busy happened.  Late summer I imagine.

But, I'm here.  I'm have my daily blog roll I go through.  I just stumbled across another one that the posts are brief, and I realized, I could do that too.  I'm just "wordy".  Why am I so wordy?! 

I cannot believe September is already nearing its death throes. 

My Michael Gascon clinic I was to attend with my girlfriends the last weekend of August was rescheduled thanks to Hurricane Harvey.  I'm not too crushed about it.  It was bumped to the last weekend of this month.  I'm looking forward to going though.  A lot.  I'm not yet sure who I am taking.

Why?

There will soon be an equine shakeup at my house.

I realized a few things after Llano, and it's taken me months to let them percolate.  But I hadn't vocalized them to a single soul.  I needed to make sure, both rationally and emotionally that this decision was the right one.

And then fate, destiny, karma...I don't know what it was, but my friend H messaged me on Sunday asking if I really was interested in this new horse she'd bought for Joe.  I had seen this mare listed, and she's EXACTLY what I was hoping to find for Joe.  A large, beefy mare who was gaited.  Well, I didn't really want a mare.  And I'm not thrilled about her color, but what MATTERS is what she has.  Well broke.  And stocky enough to carry him.  And gaited, which with his knee, I knew he needed.

Problem was her price tag.

Now, here's where I put it out to the Universe at large for the first time.

"H, she belongs to you, so you will get to decide, but I think Dakini needs a different home.  I love her, and I love everything about her, but I think she needs a lighter rider than me.  And I don't think she LOVES LDs.  Since she's yours, what would you like me to do with her?"

The current decision is that H will take Dakini back for herself and try her out as her personal horse.  She said she liked her when she rode her for that LD in October of last year.  Plus, Dakini is short.  Which H wants. 

And, we will take Chantilly (Tilly) on trial at our house for Joe. 

I'm struggling some.  Especially when, in the evenings, Dakini comes up to me for scratches and pets and loving.  She's always the one to come to me first.  And it's not a joke that she will dump her heart out for you if she even THINKS you're asking it of her.

And I know with some refining, she'll make someone a fantastic horse.  She WANTS to please.  And I think, if sent off to a trainer, she'd make a great competitive trail horse or obstacle horse.

So, my herd is going to get that shake up at some point.

And, the last weekend of this month, after the clinic, I will go pick up Zurkh. 

"Who is that and HOW THE HELL do you say that?"

Zurkh will be Kaylee's new pony.  He is a kill pen rescue.  And his rescuer is an endurance rider that I know who took him on the Colorado Trail.  She said she hasn't found anything he won't try and won't do.  She also said that, if/when Kaylee is ready to try it, that she feels he has the ability to do endurance. 

Now, I'm not going to push Kaylee to do endurance.  No way.  If she decides in a few years she has ZERO interest in horses, then Zurkh can go back to his current owner, and she need never sit on a horse again for the rest of her life.  Or, if she decides she'd rather chase cans, cut cattle, do dressage, or H/Js, then Joe and I will support that.

But, if she decides she wants to try endurance, knowing that her pony is capable without needing to be replaced is a comfort to know.

Anyway, he's an adorable little gray gelding between 12 and 13 hands.

Which is the OTHER reason Dakini perhaps needs a new home.  Initially I planned on getting her something MUCH smaller, but realized she'd outgrow it rapidly, but be attached and not want to get rid of it.  An extra mouth to feed and take care of.  So, the original plan was to have her grow from a small tiny pony to Dakini.  Except, Zurkh is almost as tall as Dakini.  So what's the point?  Once she's outgrown Zurkh, she can move to Strider or Socks.  Or, her own full sized horse.  And, I now don't have to ask her to give up her first pony for a long time (I hope). 

Now, how do you say his name?  I'll be honest.  I have no idea exactly.  But I do know it's Mongolian and means "Heart".  I don't want to name his current owner, but if you happen to follow the Mongolian Derby, you probably know of the amazing woman who currently owns him. 

I had just posted to my Facebook that we were casually looking for a pony for Kaylee, and she messaged me and said "You know, Zurkh would love to have a little girl of his own."  I was floored.  This amazing pony who had just done the Colorado Trail could belong to my daughter?  I thought she was kidding, so I messaged her back and said "That would be amazing, but I bet we can't afford him."  Except, we can.  So I told her if she was serious, so was I.  She wanted to keep him "in the family" (endurance family), so this seemed like a blessing all around. 

Sunday, Kaylee and I went and bought him a halter and lead rope.  I let her pick the colors.  A royal blue halter and a hot pink lead rope.  I made sure not to influence her decisions, but I couldn't stop laughing and apologizing to him.  But, I imagine he'll be subjected to much worse in the course of his life being loved by a little girl.  I anticipate he'll have glitter on him at some point.  Braids in his mane and tail.  And a million kisses on his nose.

But for now, my herd remains together in the warm, late September sunshine. 

I hop on the ATV for a quick ride most evenings.  Sometimes I combine work and pleasure (like last night where I used the ATV to help do barn chores and help clean up after Kaylee's birthday party then took it out to the back pasture for my own pleasure).  Sometimes I just go for a quick ride because I want to SEE my land.  I want to know it intimately.  I want to know where the high and low spots are.  I want to know when things change due to weather. 

The back is woolly and wild.  Untamed.  I enjoy it in one sense.  In another sense, it intimidates me. I cannot see the ground.  Beneath the tall weeds, it is an unknown.  What will we uncover once we begin to shred the weeds down?  And I cannot believe that it is ours.  I marvel at the size as I race towards the back section of the property that it REALLY and truly is OURS. 

And I cannot wait to see what is uncovered and revealed as we get more familiar with it.

And I dread the time change.  Less sunlight for me to enjoy it when I get home from work.  Less time to spend with the horses on weeknights.  Somehow, I'll make it all work.

Maybe I need a day with 32 hours in it.  Because I keep sacrificing sleep to get things done. 

And find myself not caring that I feel exhausted most days in the mornings.  Because I know what is waiting just 50 miles away for me.