Team Player and Dakini Thoughts

Well, I did it.

I'm now officially on a team (as of yet, un-named, but some great names have been bandied about!).  We have a CT mentor and at least 1 out of region rider.  I'm actually pretty excited to get to know my team mates better. 

I'm also starting to get very excited for Friday to happen so that I can get out and ride. 

My friend, H, who nearly single-handedly sponsors Strider and I through the generous dontation of the halter/bridle and breastcollar donation, the Imus 4Beat and the Toklat Woolback (so basically ALL of my horse's tack) bought a 16" CTK saddle KNOWING that it would fit my butt and, as they're marketed for the Paso Fino AND it's a lightweight saddle (VERY minimalist), told me to try it.  If it fits, I told her I'll buy it off her.  I'm really REALLY hoping it fits!!

It is so much lighter than the Imus.  Has a gel seat, which I'll end up covering with my fleece saddle cover.  I'm just hoping it works for us. 

Which is why a part of me wants to take Strider on Friday to see if it actually FITS him (my friend B and my friend H will be there and can help me evaluate saddle fit).  Failing that, I'll have my farrier toss it on him next time she's out to trim and we'll see what she thinks.

But, instead, I'll probably take Dakini to ride.  One, because she's really rather simple to deal with.  She doesn't pull half the antics that Strider does.  She isn't point and shoot by any stretch of the imagination, and still has her "things" she gets wound up about, but I don't have to deal with the "bunny bucks" if she's acting up.  None of the tantrums that Strider throws at me.  Sure, she's still figuring out her feet.  But she's a fairly honest little mare who wants nothing more out of life than to please and to be loved on by a human.

It is one of the reasons I'm pushing so hard to keep her.  Yes, Joe is a little big for her.  But for as little as he can come out and ride, they're fine together.  And for as briefly as he can ride, they're fine together.

But the reality is I think she's bonded with me as "her" human. 

The true testament of that was Saturday night while trying to blanket her.  The wind is whipping and wailing.  It's pitch dark out.  I'm coming with a halter and lead rope, she doesn't run away from me, despite Socks running around like a fool with the blankets fluttering around his butt.  No, she turns towards me and walks to me.  Calmly as can be expected with the dirt and dust and wind, allows me to halter her.  Looks to me for comfort.  Seems to calm some as I talk to her through our blanketing experience.

I tell her, and project to her love and safety.  I make sure to tell her "Dakini, look to me.  I'm your safe space.  It's okay honey.  I've got you.  I'm not going to let anything hurt you."

Sure, it's new agey.  And yes, I did have to kick her once in the belly when she got prancy and dancy, nearly pinning me between her and the panel of the pen, because Strider and Socks would come up to the feeding pen and then run away and it would cause her anxiety, but, the sheer amount of trust she placed in me speaks volumes about how far she and I have come since May where she was a bundle of nerves and anxiety and mistrust.

My farrier came to trim her a few weeks after I'd gotten her.  I had been doing some basic ground work with her, but not enough, not even in my mind.  When Holly went to trim her, she plainly told me "I'm not so sure Erin.  She went from anxious to where I could feel her flip the switch to 'bitch' mode."  I saw it too.  I hadn't had a chance to really mess with her feet by that point.  We did manage to trim her and get her done, but it was touch and go.

Our second trim cycle, we were back at my regular boarding facility and I'd really been working with her.  Round penning and saddling and ponying and just lots and lots of handling.

The second trim, Holly tells me; "This horse is so different from the first time I met her.  She has come so FAR with you.  It's a testament to what you've done with her."

And each time she interacts with Dakini, she is always so happy with her and so impressed how overall GOOD she is.  How good her feet will eventually be once we finish getting an old blown abscess down and gone.  Just a tiny bit left.

All that mare wanted, I feel, was a human of her own.  Someone she could place her trust in to.  I think, in a year or two, she'll be the horse I'll loan to guests.  She's genuinely THAT good at heart.  She has moments where she balks (she IS a green horse STILL), and moments where she lacks confidence, but I know that time and mileage will give those things to her. 

Who knew that I would fall in love with a plain gray MARE? 

Don't tell Strider though.  He and I are still two soul mirrors.  The light and the dark as we reflect our truths back to one another.  Who else would tolerate half of what I do from him?  No one. 

But that little gray mare.  Well, she's something else.  And, given the right amount of time...I can see Kaylee and her tearing up the trails.  Or the show ring.